Friday, September 30, 2011

Cornfed Bruiser

At one point in my existence I was a volunteer Emergency Medical Technician and during that little slice of heaven I never had a boring call (I had some bogus ones, but never boring).  There were more than a few trillion broken hips, cars upside down, puking nightmares that always had to eat about 60 heads of freaking garlic before I got there and traffic accidents but one type of call always got my attention:  Motorcycle accidents.  Motorcycle accidents seemed to always occur where gravel would just "pop up" on the unsuspecting motorcyclist and with that came "Road Rash".  I know you're bored right now, well keep reading I promise it will make sense.

Just the way the words "Road Rash" sound elicits cringes from even the most seasoned rider and if you have either experienced it, or seen it in the now, I promise you will not forget it.  The whole concept of "Road Rash" is that cheese grater effect that pavement (pick your favorite type) has on the human body as it shreds fabric and flesh can't be imagined and I suppose a band, or a song for that matter can have a similar effect.  Okay, okay I know music can't rip, tear and shred like pavement (stick with me here) but music can have that effect on the human psyche.

I sat down at my keyboard of mirth and merriment this evening to enjoy some new music, this time by a band named "Cornfed Bruiser" and about two seconds after I hit the first song that music ripped and tore me as well as any "crotch rocket" skidding down the pavement next to its shorts wearing pretty boy.  As that very first song blasted through my eardrums, I realized I had been assaulted and I really, really liked it.  The title of that first song you might ask, what was it?  "Road Rash."  Duh (you just thought I was having a flashback didn't you).

When the first song you listen to, from ANY band elicits a response of slack-jawed excitement you (the listener) has but one option, find MORE of that band and listen to the music as loud as you can (you really won't need that hearing as you age, trust me).  From the Cornfed Bruiser web site, I was able to only listen to two songs (put more up, I gotta have 'em) so I was forced to the land of YouTube to dig for more.

Cornfed Bruiser is a band that packs so much into their music its just not fair.  Seriously, as I was listening to the studio stuff, my mind entered overload.  There is just so much there, from a classic metal sound to grind your face in broken glass thrash, the driving sound of the bass and drums and the power of that "Flying 'V'", I was in some sort of nirvana (no, not the band BUT there will be something about them soon).  Every fan of music has experienced a band that is flat out amazing musically and that's really about it, but not these guys.

Sure we've all seen cover bands that can play like Dimebag, Nikki Sixx, and John Bonham but at the same time we've been forced to listen to some whiny little punk that is trying to sound like David Lee Roth (and not being able to pull that off) and there is a reason for that, its a very simple reason too.  The reason is that they do not have the ability to write their OWN material and if they do, even they know it doesn't work so we're forced to listen to that whiny little punk as he chirps out his version of "Round and Round".  Here's a heads up, Cornfed Bruiser CAN write phenomenal stuff and they make it sound exactly like it is, phenomenal.

Its encouraging when bands like Cornfed Bruiser drop into my inbox because bands like this are exactly what music should be.  Its enjoyable to listen to bands that have it all there, and not the 9 million cover bands that float from bar to bar and the only thing you can remember about the night you saw them, was what a jackass your friend (or you for that matter) was while he hit on the cute bartender.  Honestly this is where the beauty of YouTube can be used for good (and not just stupid videos of "talking" puppies).  Now you can show you friends how good those guys you "saw last night" really were (or you could refer them to a really cool blog that gave you the heads up on the band (hint, HINT).

The one reason I love to do this blog is that I get to hear great music from great bands and I sincerely hope that some of those reading it will encourage local establishments, radio stations, record labels and each and every one of their friends to listen to these bands.  Cornfed Bruiser is in that category, and I would contend that this band WILL become successful because they have the right sound, the right chops to do just that.  I'm kind of excited about this band, they are actually playing in an area that really isn't that far from my home, so I may actually be able to take in one of their shows.  Live even!

Take my word, go to their website, listen to their music then go to iTunes and buy some of the music, then tell your family and friends and then...  I'm guessing you know what to do.  Listen to these guys, I promise they will NOT disappoint!!!!


  1. Awesome write-up, James! I love CFB!

  2. WOW, that was fun to read! CFB is gonna crack some serious skullz! Love their music!